Widowhood - Loads of “Firsts”

“At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or what you did, they will remember how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

I’m reminded of the first office visit after my husband died.  Even though I had a great relationship with my advisor, I sat in the car feeling stuck, nervous and frightened.  Wanting to just drive away, I finally found a pinch of courage and went up the stairs.   Thankfully I was greeted at the door, offered something to drink and escorted to his office, which was a safe and inviting space.

I didn’t know what this discussion was going to entail because talking about money is hard enough.  Now we have to talk about money and death. I had a bazillion questions about my financial future, yet never voiced them.  The first meeting was about sharing space and talking about the beautiful, kind man that I had lost.  That is what I remember. 

We had financial paperwork and tasks to handle, yet it was underscored that first meeting.  The most important decisions, shared tasks and paperwork needed was emailed to me the following day. I left the meeting feeling supported, heard and valued!

 How do financial advisors create a successful first meeting with bereaved clients?

 Best practices:

•  Create a safe, inclusive and inviting space to meet
  •  Ask them where they would like to meet
  •  Meet at their home, a public place, outdoors or your office
  •  Office space needs to be open, light with comfortable chairs and no desk/barrier separating the conversation
•  Expectations
  •  The conversation will be emotional, be prepared for tears
  •  They will remember 10% of what you say
  •  90% of how you made them feel
•  Communication
  •  Verbal communication is of empathy and care
  •  Written/email communication
    •  Summary of the meeting
    •  Actions or tasks needing attention
    •  Time and date of next meeting 

“You never get a second chance to make a ___________________ impression.”

To learn more click HERE.